How does one get to this place? I guess I should tell you a little about myself. There have been all kinds of journeys in my life. I have to say that this one has proven to be one of the hardest. There's no doubt in my mind. I am committed to not letting it beat me.
My life's personal journey thus far: I was born in Wheeling, WV 34 years ago. My parents "stayed married for the children" for 17 years. It was pure hell to grow up in that environment.
We lived next door to my beloved Grandmother, who saved me from many, many spankings. She passed away when I was 18 years old - 4 months after giving birth to my 1st daughter, Lauren.
Being married has had it share of bumps as well. I've been married twice. Once before graduating High School, which lasted nearly 5 years. We were divorced 8/18/97. I married my husband, David, on 8/29/97. Yes, 11 days later. We couldn't wait and the divorced had taken over a year. David and I have been married for 12 years. I love my husband so much. Even though he's not a "talker," he really is my rock.
Motherhood - Lauren was born in February of my Senior year. She's 16 now. Connor was soon to follow. He is 14. They were created in my 1st marriage. After Dave and I had been together about a year, we decided we would like to have a baby. That didn't go forth without significant struggles. Evan was born in November of '98. One more blessing rounded out our brood... Avery Morgan in August 2000. I have been a Mom as long as I can remember and for all of my adult life. Honestly, there are a few tweaks I would like to make, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I've also been a Gestational Surrogate. Gestational means that the carrier has no biological connection to the baby(ies). I delivered Joseph in 12/02 and twin sisters, Berley and Barney in 12/04. Next to my own family, this process is so near and dear to my heart. I began working for the largest surrogacy agency in the world in March 2006, but parted ways with them, on my decision, July 2009.
This leads me now to the purpose of my blog. Mostly everyone I know is obese to some degree. We lost my cousin Jeremy in 12/07 due to complications from Gastric Bypass surgery and obesity. Even the struggle that I witnessed with him has not been enough to make me put down the doughnut. I love carbs - bread, potatoes, rice, and red meat. Ooooh, and the doughnuts. I never, ever feel full. Adding this appetite to the stress and anxiety added at work, then add 4 years worth of emotional eating and Effexor to that... well... I was doomed. I'm a bit bigger now than I was when I delivered the twins at 32 weeks. Today, this is going to stop. I spoke with my doctor yesterday about all of this. He wouldn't give me any appetite suppressants because of my heart beating too quickly... so, I'm kinda on my own. I did do a program called "The Wellness Bridge" with which I did have some success before conceiving the twins, so I am wanting to try it again. I have made contact with them. I also looked into joining the gym at the local college and I have a Bowflex Treadclimer, which has become the proverbial clothes tree.
Today, I start my new life. I know that it won't be easy and there will be times where I will want to give up. But, I am committed and determined. My dr challenged me to lose 10 pounds before I see him again on November 3rd. Please send me good thoughts.
For now,
Christina xx
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