ugh!

The last 2 days have not been great.  Yesterday was hard and last night, I gave in to Ben & Jerry.  I also did not exercise.  It doesn't seem to have done any damage, but it wasn't good, either.  At my consultation Tuesday, I was the same weight, lost another 1.5 inches, and my body fat went down 1% again.  Yay!

I just ate a bunch of raw veggies and now I have a stomach ache.

So, I'm still hanging in here... praying that I'm not getting sick again.  Evan complained of a headache this evening and asked for some pain reliever.  He NEVER wants to take meds.  Poor guy! 

Hope to update more tomorrow!

Day 24 and I'm sore!

Today, I went walking with my friend Kim at the mall.  We walked swiftly for about 90 mins... lil one in tow in the stroller.  My hips are so sore!  I'm not going to get on the treadmill tonight.  Tomorrow, is my weigh-in/measurement day.  I'm anxious to see how it goes.  After 3 days of exercise, my scale was at a stand still this morning.  I've started taking my vitamins, eating pretty well (maybe not enough), exercising, and I'm feeling pretty good :)  The next hurdle is getting all of that water down - ack!! 

Meal #1
HB egg
fruit & yogurt parfait

Meal #2
Applebee's Oriental Chicken Salad - half size
dressing on the side

Snack
Light string cheese
Reduced Fat Cheez Its
Red pepper strips

Meal #3
Lean taco beef
FF cheese
FF sour cream
salsa
red peppers
jalapenos
romaine mix

SF fudgecicle

Adventures in Exercise - A New Chapter \o/

I've been on the treadmill for 3 nights.  The 1st night, I forgot to take a picture.  I am gradually moving up!!!

Night #1        Calories Burned: 415  time : 32mins    distance: 1.6 mi   Treadclimber steps: 205


Night #2

Night #3 (tonight)

The secret?  How it's getting me away from the computer?  Haha!  I am plopping the laptop on the book tray on the treadmill.  :)  Smart girl !!  This way, the time flies.

I'm still logging food in my  Wellness Bridge food diary that I have to turn in weekly.  I'll get it on here soon, I promise!! 

Catching up... (Day 21)

I'm a little behind on menus.  I'll work on catching up this weekend.  I've done well with menus except for the cinnamon roll tonight.  Since I gave into the cinnamony deliciousness, I forced myself to get on the treadmill.  I did 1.5 miles in about 32 minutes.  I was able to do 205 steps on the Treadclimber.  Increasing this number will be a good measure of my new fitness level.  I burned 415 calories. Victory!

Evan got my iPod working, after an hour on the phone with Apple and no success.  That helped with not being bored for that 32 minutes.  (The TV isn't in that room any more.)  My goal would be to spend at least 30 mins on the Treadclimber at least 5 days per week and I'll be getting my gym membership very soon, too. 

This morning, I weighed 213 again... this is a loss of 8 pounds.  2 more to go to my 1st goal of 10 lbs for Dr G.  I've been at it for about 3 weeks. 

Time to load more songs on the iPod.

xox  Chris

Back on the Wagon -- day 19

There's white shit falling from the sky!  *aghhhhhhh*

Meal #1 1:00pm
Lean burger
slice of provolone
Giant salad (romaine mix w/ carrots & red cabbage, red peppers, mushrooms, red onion, tomato)
Fat Free Ken's Raspberry Pecan dressing

I'm going to get on my Treadclimber today.  I'm inspired.  However, Dave took the TV out of that room...  argh!  So now I have to wait for 1 of the kids to get home so that I can borrow an iPod.  lol !  I need to just get one for myself.   Maybe I'll go do that.  ;)

Meal #2  7:00pm
Chicken breast
Slice FF cheese
Red onions, red & green peppers, mushrooms sauteed in olive oil
peas

Snack 11:00 pm
Baby carrots
FF ranch dip
Lite string cheese

Quick update 10.13.09

I had my WB consult today.  Even though my appetite has been quite insatiable and I have had cinnamon rolls and apple crisp (I've been off plan for a few days!), I was still down the 7 pounds and also 4 inches!  I could tell that my chest was smaller, as I went down to the last clasp on my bra :)  I should be able to get down the 1st 10 lb goal from my Dr quite easily...  I am very pleased!

My reward was getting my hair done & 2 shirts from the clearance rack at Old Navy. 

My Scarlet Letter - "S" for Slacker

I have Wellness Bridge tomorrow.  I've been so bad this week.  Now that I am feeling better, I have an insatiable appetite again.  I'm still not sleeping.  I've lost my mojo.  This is going to make for a rough appointment.  So, tomorrow, I'll be starting over again.  I had lost 8 pounds, but that was mostly because I was so ill. 

I started working on another blog of recipes...  I put the Google ads on it.  I hope that it goes over well.

Good night - back to Paranormal State.  xoxo

Day 14 10.9.09

I'm watching Sarah Chalke in "Why I Wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy."  I love this movie.  I'm also counting my blessings because I feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate at this moment.  Taking this journey has even more meaning.  This road to being healthy will be so worth it.

Meal #1

Egg Salad (HB egg, light miracle whip, dill, mustard, paprika, salt, & pepper)
1/2 whole wheat pita
baby carrots
FF ranch dip

Meal #2

Dreamfield's spaghetti
red sauce w/ mushrooms
... and a cinnamon roll.

The last 2 days, I haven't done very well.  Not getting my water in and not eating nearly enough.  I know it. 
The rest of the cinnamon rolls are going to work with Dave in the morning.  I found an incredible recipe and had to make them.  A pan went across the street to the neighbors & the rest, gone in the morning.  This is a victorious move... a step above the rice krispy treats.  Tomorrow, my goal is to be back on plan and get the water in.  Saturday, we'll be at the football field most of the day.  I need to prepare for that and take some snacks and water with me. 

....  back to my movie!

blah, blah, diet, blah, blah

So, today was pretty much a wash.  I guess it could've been worse.  I had to drop my car off for service in the morning & I took my mom to breakfast because she drove me there.  We went to Denny's and I had the "Superbird" sandwich and some hashbrowns.

We had dinner out, too, at Applebee's.... had to pick up the car @ 6:30.  I had an Oriental chicken salad w/ a tiny bit of the dressing.

Tonight, I gave into the Graeter's ice cream that was a gift.  I had about 4 spoonsful. 

Tomorrow, we'll get back on the wagon.  ;)

Day 12 10.6.09

Yeah, Dave has the zoofus - bad!  Poor guy.  He still went to work. 12 hours.  UGH!

Meal #1

Baked, breaded chicken cutlet
Giant salad (romaine mix, cucumber, tomato, red onion)
Sprinkle of cheddar
FF ranch
Handful of pretzel sticks

Meal #2

Whole Wheat pasta
Red sauce with mushrooms & lean beef
carrot sticks, red peppers, and cucumbers
FF Ranch dip

Snacks

Pretzels
SF fudgesicle
(a damn) Rice krispy treat (I need to throw them away - the kids aren't eating them!)

10.5.09 Day 11 ! - feeling better - now I can't get full again. Vicious cycle.

Meal #1
1/2 whole wheat pita
turkey
FF swiss cheese slice
Lettuce, tomato
banana

Meal #2
Grilled chicken breast
FF swiss cheese slice
sauteed peppers, onions, mushrooms, garlic in olive oil
corn
steamed broccoli

Snacks
handful pretzel sticks
SF fudgecicle
Rice krispy treat - I know - I can't make them again
Frozen berries w/ 30 calories worth Cool Whip Free

Some pics from today...  Look at these giant 'shrooms

And my ridiculous fridge.... *sigh*  I am finding this to be

* time consuming

* expensive

* taking up a ton of space

I know that it'll be worth it...  but it's been hard work!  I can't get one more thing in there.

I am also a food hoarder... We could probably live off of my "stock" (fridge, 2 freezers, pantry, top of cabinets in kitchen & 2 shelving units full) for a few months.  Having to have this much "fresh" food is throwing me for a loop. 

On the sleeping front... even with Ambien, I was up til 4:30 this morning.  I got Avery up and on the bus at 8:15 and then went back to sleep til about 1:30.  I have to get out of this sleep pattern.  I guess it won't be too bad when Dave has to go to midnights (which will last a few months).  Kim and I are going to start walking as soon as we can both be well.  That will feel great and will be an "appointment" that I have to get out of bed for at a certain time.  Wonderful!!! 

10.4.09

Meal #1
Egg omelette w/ onions, tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms, red peppers
1/2 whole wheat pita

Meal #2
Whole Wheat pasta
tomato sauce w/ meat & mushrooms
carrot sticks & red pepper strips
fat free dip

Snacks
banana
handful of pretzel sticks
SF fudgesicle

10.3.09 - Day 9

I'm starting to feel better today!  Yay!
I went to Connor's football game and got 2 meals in. 

Meal #1
Beef & noodles (I think about 2 cups - oops)
baby carrots

Meal #2
Grilled chicken breast
giant salad (romaine mix, tomato, cucumber, red peppers, black olives, 1 T mozzarella)
Fat free ranch

Update for the past 2 days - 7 & 8

Yesterday was my worst day yet with this illness.  I woke up very nauseated and congested.  I'm also post a D&C and my cycle is HORRIBLE.  I thought I was starting to hemorrhage.  I didn't eat anything until evening yesterday.  I had some chicken parmesan and a salad.  I have been up very, very late and sleepin in thru the mornings.  I have to get out of this cycle.  I am down 8 pounds.

Today is as follows:

Meal #1 - 2:30 pm
Chicken Breast w/ a bit of BBQ Sauce
Sliced tomatoes
Carrot sticks
Fat free ranch dip

Snack -  6:30 pm
1 Weight Watchers key lime yogurt
1/3 c. bran buds
1 c. strawberries

Dinner - 8:30 pm
2 c. beef & noodles (w/ mushrooms)
SF fudge pop

Day 6 9.30.09 & Wellness Bridge appt

Today I had my Wellness Bridge appointment.  She weighed me in at 214.  On Thursday, in the Dr's office, I was 221.  Being sick has sure helped my cause.  I also had my measurements done.  We'll track those too to see my progress.

 I did lose 7 lbs the 1st week of Weight Watchers.  I went into this cold turkey, so I expected to have a big drop.  Dr G  wanted me to lose 10 lbs by Nov 3rd.  No problem!

I didn't eat until I got home this afternoon.  I feel SO terrible. 

Meal #1
4oz Amy's lean beef burger grilled
1 sl. fat free swiss cheese
1 T ketchup
med banana

Day 5 - 9.29.09

Still sick.  Seems to be getting worse.  Went back to sleep after the kids got on the bus.  This really stinks!


Meal #1

1 whole wheat sandwich round
1/2 c. chicken salad (shredded chicken breast, lite miracle whip, cranberry/pecan salad topping, salt, pepper, paprika)
Romaine lettuce
Black Grapes
1 lt. string cheese

Due to bad planning on my part, Meal #2 was a plain hamburger & a diet Coke from McDonald's.  I left the house starving to head to my Dr appt.  I feel SO awful.  They gave me a new antibiotic - Levaquin.

Meal #3  - my wonderful husband made me some scrambled eggs (tomato, spinach, mushrooms, onions) and hash browns.  Yummy!  I'm finding that I am liking repeating these meals.  

Tomorrow is my Wellness Bridge appt.  After I go, I'll decide if I want to stick with it.  I'm going to get a shower and lie down.  I'm feeling fevered again.  G'night.

Day 4 - 9.28.09

Woke up with a sore throat.  I am already on Day 4 of Zithromax.  I called the Dr's office and he's out of town for 2 weeks.  Great!  There is a refill on my Zithromax, and I don't know if I should refill it or not.

Good news - I stuck to my guns and made it through last night.  Battle won.  Long way to go in the war.

Dave took me to lunch today.  We had to go out and find him some shoes.  We went to Outback - ugh!

I did better than I normally would:

Meal #1 (slept thru breakfast)

about 1/3 small appetizer plate of cheese fries (scream!)
Salad (ranch on side - dipped fork)
3 oz sirloin steak- medium
small baked potato (dipped into sour cream)

The greatest achievement was not eating until I was stuffed.  I actually could've eaten more and didn't - yay!

I made a decision today.  I am not going to weigh out every ounce, teaspoon, etc of what I eat.  Right now, I don't want to make this harder than it has to be.  I am going to make wise choices and not beat myself up when I don't.  Cop out?  Maybe - I can always change it later.

Wednesday, I'll have my measurements done at my consultation.  I'm not looking forward to those.  I updated the weight ticker today.  Down a bit.  I always lose a lot the 1st week. 

Meal #2

I had my taco salad again, listed below.  After the soccer game, Dave & the kids got KFC.  I picked up more salad mix - yay!  I forgot to take a picture ;) 


I'm planning to walk tomorrow and possibly go over to join the gym (if I feel better - this cough is really terrible).  May need to give that a few days. 

ugh...

In the interest of being open and honest...  tonight, I leave you with 1 more post. 

It's taking everything in me to not go out and raid that fridge.  I have trouble distinguishing "hungry" from "boredom."  I am going to get through this.  I knew when I started to feel better, this would happen. 

ugh!

Day 3 - Sun. Sept 27th

Good morning!

I just had my breakfast. Slept well and I'm feeling a bit better so far. :) That's a relief.

I am going to start including pictures and sometimes recipes for what I am making. Hopefully, someone else can benefit from my story some day.

Breakfast 10:00am:

2 Eggland's Best eggs
tomato, onion, spinach, mushrooms
1 t. olive oil

1 whole wheat sandwich round
Butter spray

Snack 2:00pm:

1/3 c. Bran Buds cereal (13 g. fiber!)
1 Weight Watchers Cherry Cheesecake yogurt
1 palm full frozen berries (YUM!)

Lunch 4:30 pm

1 Gardenburger "Californiaburger"

1 sl. "veggie" cheese
1 whole wheat sandwich round
drizzle ketchup

Romaine salad mix, sprinkle almonds, sprinkle craisins
1 cup mandarin oranges
2 t. raspberry vinaigrette

Snack (7pm):
1 Wasa sesame crisp bread
1 t. blackberry preserves
1 lt. string cheese

Dinner (8pm):

Stuffed Eggplant from here: Recipe from Gourmet.com
(I added recipe suggestions in the comment section.  I am from a Lebanese family, and to me, this was very bland)
Green beans
(I apologize for the awful picture!)

Sept 26th meals

Not feeling well today - did the best I could. We did make it out to the grocery store & I used about 1/2 of my basil plant and made a big batch of pesto.


Lunch:

Whole wheat sandwich round
2 oz. deli chicken breast
1 sl. veggie "American" cheese

Dinner:

2c. romaine mix
1/4 c. lean taco beef
1 T. shredded cheese
tomato, jalapeno, black olives
2 T. salsa
2 T. corn
1 T. RF Sour Cream

Snack:

Sugar Free popsicle

I've lost 2 pounds. I'm sure it's from being sick. ugh!

Saturday Morning

Slept well :) yay! I woke up in the middle of the night with my glasses on, then to my cell phone ringing. My  Wellness Bridge coach called me back to set up a meeting. It's going to be more expensive than before for the weekly consultations and I have to add to my materials - $10 food journal, $40 workbook, and then the $48 per mo. Thankfully, once you join, you never have to pay that initial $75 again.

Avery is coughing and I need breakfast - more later! :) xx

Friday -

The mega doses of steroids may be the culprit that kept me up all night. I didn't go to sleep until after Avery got on the bus this morning about 8:15. Then, I slept til 12:30. So, I skipped breakfast. I'm going to log my meals to help with accountability.... here goes:

Lunch -

3oz Southwest style chicken breast
1 La Tortilla Factory low carb tortilla
1T shredded mexican cheese
1 big handful of romaine lettuce mix
1 c. red grapes
2 Diet Cherry Cokes ;)
2 steroid pills - lol

Dinner -

3oz grilled chicken breast
1 c. steamed broccoli
1 c. brown rice
3/4 c. black beans w/ onion, tomato, garlic, curry, salt, pepper (yum!!!)
1 t. olive oil

- few bites left on the plate

2 steroid pills :)

Snack -

2 graham crackers
w/ smears of Nutella

Didn't do very well with water. Will work on that tomorrow. Definitely didn't exercise. I feel like crap.

Welcome to my weightloss journey

How does one get to this place? I guess I should tell you a little about myself. There have been all kinds of journeys in my life. I have to say that this one has proven to be one of the hardest. There's no doubt in my mind. I am committed to not letting it beat me.

My life's personal journey thus far: I was born in Wheeling, WV 34 years ago. My parents "stayed married for the children" for 17 years. It was pure hell to grow up in that environment.
We lived next door to my beloved Grandmother, who saved me from many, many spankings. She passed away when I was 18 years old - 4 months after giving birth to my 1st daughter, Lauren.

Being married has had it share of bumps as well. I've been married twice. Once before graduating High School, which lasted nearly 5 years. We were divorced 8/18/97. I married my husband, David, on 8/29/97. Yes, 11 days later. We couldn't wait and the divorced had taken over a year. David and I have been married for 12 years. I love my husband so much. Even though he's not a "talker," he really is my rock.

Motherhood - Lauren was born in February of my Senior year. She's 16 now. Connor was soon to follow. He is 14. They were created in my 1st marriage. After Dave and I had been together about a year, we decided we would like to have a baby. That didn't go forth without significant struggles. Evan was born in November of '98. One more blessing rounded out our brood... Avery Morgan in August 2000. I have been a Mom as long as I can remember and for all of my adult life. Honestly, there are a few tweaks I would like to make, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've also been a Gestational Surrogate. Gestational means that the carrier has no biological connection to the baby(ies). I delivered Joseph in 12/02 and twin sisters, Berley and Barney in 12/04. Next to my own family, this process is so near and dear to my heart. I began working for the largest surrogacy agency in the world in March 2006, but parted ways with them, on my decision, July 2009.

This leads me now to the purpose of my blog. Mostly everyone I know is obese to some degree. We lost my cousin Jeremy in 12/07 due to complications from Gastric Bypass surgery and obesity. Even the struggle that I witnessed with him has not been enough to make me put down the doughnut. I love carbs - bread, potatoes, rice, and red meat. Ooooh, and the doughnuts. I never, ever feel full. Adding this appetite to the stress and anxiety added at work, then add 4 years worth of emotional eating and Effexor to that... well... I was doomed. I'm a bit bigger now than I was when I delivered the twins at 32 weeks. Today, this is going to stop. I spoke with my doctor yesterday about all of this. He wouldn't give me any appetite suppressants because of my heart beating too quickly... so, I'm kinda on my own. I did do a program called "The Wellness Bridge" with which I did have some success before conceiving the twins, so I am wanting to try it again. I have made contact with them. I also looked into joining the gym at the local college and I have a Bowflex Treadclimer, which has become the proverbial clothes tree.

Today, I start my new life. I know that it won't be easy and there will be times where I will want to give up. But, I am committed and determined. My dr challenged me to lose 10 pounds before I see him again on November 3rd. Please send me good thoughts.

For now,
Christina xx