Mumbo Jumbo...

Renewed my gym membership today...  I'm sticking with the one I went to before.  My emotional eating is getting out of control again and I just can't ruin the body that I paid for.  Yes, it was still in need of some work... but, I can't be stretching things back out.

I went to the dentist today and had 2 fillings fixed.  I haaaaaate going to the dentist.  My anxiety around all things dentist is just horrible.  I swear, she had to jam that needle into my jaw joint.  It hurts. 

Dave and I went out to dinner for his birthday... a few days after.  It was the 1st time we'd been out alone together for a few hours since last Christmas.  My husband is not a talker, but that's ok.  The conversation that we did have and also the moments of quiet, together, were great.  We do need this time to connect.  I am thinking we need more of it, too. 

My birthday is next.  37!  Jesus!  Where does the time go?  I'm going to have a 19 year old daughter shortly after my birthday. 

The pumpkins...  still doing pretty well.  Still having visits with parents.  We're up to twice a week for 3 hours.  We were at twice a week for 2 hours.  I am thankful that the reunification process is gradual.  This is going to be crazy hard for everyone.  Little guy still says that he is not going to go.  Now he says that it's not, "part of his story and it's not true."  He's such a bright little boy... sad, having to think about this kind of thing when all he should have to think about is Caillou, being a firefighter, and how fast he can ride his bike through the circle of the house.  I digress.

Baby just fell asleep... Shower time.  Tomorrow, we have visit and I am going to hit the gym.  Carting along 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' for my time on the treadmill.  Hoping for Ambien to work tonight.

xo

Sweeping away the cobwebs....

I'm thinking that this may be a therapeutic place to record my thoughts and feelings as we enter through the hardest part of the fostering process, possibly nearing reunification.  I have so many feelings, things I want to say, and things I'm not sure about....  So many what if's....  Right now, everything is just a big jumble.  Hoping to start tomorrow, getting down to the nitty gritty.  I want to remember every single moment, but that gets hard sometimes with everything else still going on around me.  This, if kept, could be a blessing. 

One thing is for sure... As sure as I am breathing... I LOVE THESE KIDS!

Onward and Upwards....

I did it!  I set up my surgery consult.  I'm going to get myself put back together.   This hasn't been an easy decision...  Doing something this big for yourself, this costly, this time consuming... But, I do believe that it will do wonders for how I feel and I'm sure my husband will enjoy it as well.  Ha!  I'm excited, yet very nervous.  The unknown, the pain that is bound to be there... *EEEK!*  But, we'll get through it.

Baby pumpkin has lots of teeth, is very mobile and I think she'll walk soon!  We'll be celebrating her 1st birthday in a few weeks.  Bigger pumpkin is becoming his own little person... speaking more clearly, doing well with therapy, and finding his voice and personality.  Challenges come and we rise to them together.  They are happy, healthy, gaining weight, and look like different little people!  I am so happy that we decided to be foster parents.  We are so blessed.  This has changed all of our lives, in many ways... and the lives of those around us.  It's exciting to see others growing and being inspired. 

My children...  They continue to inspire us as well.  They continue to amaze us with their kindness, adaptability, their love.  We are just so very proud of our little not so little family. 

More later....  I need to start some dinner.  :) 

Xo