Rebirth....

Did well at the gym today.  I was on the treadmill for about 40 minutes and did 2 miles, then, worked on the machines.  The treadmill time went so quickly, as I was reading my Harry Potter book.  Definitely doing that more often.  I feel good about it. 

It's new to our program that I don't stay present at the kids visits, which gives me now, starting this month, 2 - 3 hour spans of time to myself.  We just started this last week.... Well, I was invited to come along to the kids' visit with their bio parents by their father.  I had already made these plans for myself though, so I kept them.  I went to the gym, bought some new running shoes, and got some Subway.  I would've loved to have gone with the kids, but I have to start making some commitments to my health and keeping them.  I am so fucking sick of being sick.  Months upon months... 

Hoping to speak with our case manager soon.  Need to talk about my concerns.  Nothing major... just need to talk it out.  We love these kids so much and want to see the best for them happen... whatever that looks like in the end.  I want them to be happy, safe, healthy, loved, cherished, everything wonderful...